一位爸爸写给女儿的信:关于你未来的那个他

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永远爱你的

最后，亲爱的，如果你遇到了这样的男人，哪怕我和他完全没有共同点，我们都会有一个最重要的共通之处:

I don't care if he can't play a bit of golf with me -- as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don't care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion -- as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

I don't care if he is strong -- as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

那就是你。

我的宝贝小甜心:

亲爱的宝贝，你从来，完全都不需要，“让他一直对你感兴趣。”

我一点也不关心他为谁投票--只要他每天早上醒来，都能把你“选”为家里的荣耀和他心中的女神。

最后，亲爱的，想要让他一直爱你如初的话，你唯一需要做的就是做你自己。

I don't care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table -- as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can't stop looking.

亲爱的，你唯一的任务就是不断去了解自己的灵魂--你不该让拒绝、失去和自我占据那个不可撼动的领域--这样你才值得被喜欢。(如果你还能知道每个人都值得被喜欢，那么你的人生已经基本赢了。改天我会在另一封信里再写这部分。)

Your eternally interested guy,

我不介意他忘带钱包--只要他全心爱你如初，一直不离不弃。

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was "How to keep him interested."

I couldn't care less how he votes -- as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

我不介意他是不是强壮--只要他能够给你足够空间，让你去不断锻炼内心的力量。

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to "keep him interested" is to be you.

这让我有点震惊。我浏览了无数相关的论文，这些文章都是关于女孩如何性感保持美丽，什么时候给他送上一杯啤酒和三明治，以及如何让他觉得聪明和有优越感。

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul -- in that unshakeable place that isn't rattled by rejection and loss and ego -- that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

Daddy

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to "keep him interested."

我不介意他吃饭时会不会把手放桌子上--只要他会把注意力放在你身上，哪怕你大笑时鼻子都发出了怪声，还是止不住的一直看着你。

我怒了。

爸爸

(本文内容来源于网络 版权归原作者所有)

I don't care about the color of his skin -- as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

And I got angry.

You.

我不介意他的肤色--只要他能用耐心、牺牲、奉献和温柔的笔触在你人生的画布上尽情挥绘。

I don't care if he doesn't follow his wallet -- as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

我不介意他是否有宗教信仰--只要他从小到大都信仰神圣，也知道生命的每个时刻，和你在一起的每分钟，都是非常神圣的。

我不介意他不会陪我打高尔夫--只要他能和孩子们玩得开心，并且陶醉于孩子们和你是多么地相像。

亲爱的，我想告诉你，不用刻意在男生面前保持新鲜感，他会知道你的好和魅力所在。

如果你相信自己的价值，那么你的魅力就能用最重要的这句话来形容:你会吸引有能力去爱你同时也想花一辈子时间好好爱你的男生。

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

最近我和你妈妈准备在谷歌上搜一个答案。还没输完整个问题，谷歌就显示了一列世界上最常见的搜索。其中排在第一的是“怎么能让他一直对我感兴趣”。